We’ve all been there. Someone’s little one is pulling another child’s hair or snatching toys and their parent or carer isn’t managing the situation. No teacher wants to spoil the vibe or parents’ backs up, but you do have your class to consider. Do you step in or wait for their adult to intervene? It’s a minefield!
Dealing with unwanted behaviour in class is a hot topic on our Facebook Community. How do you handle a ‘disruptive’ child in your class (of course, there’s no such thing as a disruptive child, only disruptive behaviour), while still being sensitive to their needs? Fear not – help is out there…
4 common class scenarios and how to deal with them:
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A child biting others
Biting is really common in early childhood, and something lots of our providers have experienced in their classes. Babies and toddlers bite for a variety of reasons, such as teething or exploring a new toy or object with their mouth. It rarely comes from an aggressive impulse! Try putting out some soft, chewable teether toys in your class (we love Matchstick Monkey’s range), or why not suggest their parent gets them a sensory chew necklace to wear?
While it’s a perfectly normal developmental stage in babies and toddlers, if a preschooler is repeatedly biting other children, ultimately you may need to take action to ensure the safety of your other participants. Michelle Dowler, Director of Glo-babies music group in Warwickshire, agrees:
‘We had a child like this in one of our groups and it started to encroach on others’ enjoyment. They eventually left after we agreed [with their carer] that they’d probably outgrown the session.’
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A child pushing / hitting / pulling other children’s hair
Another tricky one and again, something you’re bound to encounter at some point as a class provider! If a child in your class pushes, bites or hits another child(ren), it can feel awkward addressing it with their adult.
Your response will depend on the parent: if they’re trying their best to check their child, initially try supporting them as best you can, and ask for tolerance from the other parents if they mention it. Perhaps their child is tired or hungry? If so, suggest they offer them a healthy snack, or bring them to an alternative class that doesn’t clash with their naptime.
If their grown up isn’t trying to deal with the situation, however, or other children are at risk, that’s another matter. Emma Huggett, Director of Montessori-style toddler class franchise Monty’s Play Hub, agrees:
‘I’d have an honest conversation with his parent about how you can support them (and him) more to be able to play alongside the other children. I’d say that you can’t have other children getting hurt, it’s not safe and she needs to be supervising him more closely. If she’s not able to do that, perhaps a break would benefit.’
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A child unwilling to participate in class activities (older toddlers / preschoolers)
If even just one child in your class is refusing to take part or not listening to instructions, it can really affect the atmosphere.
You could start by trying to make a joke of it – humour can go a long way towards diffusing an awkward situation! Alternatively, why not switch up your activity to help reset the mood, or put on some upbeat music for participants to dance to?
Vinny Ferguson, Deputy Head Teacher and founder of AlI Included, a consultancy specialising in children’s SEND / Additional Support Needs, says: ‘If there is a child who isn’t listening / engaging in the way that you want them to, what’s your response to that? Rather than expressing it in a negative way (e.g. ‘I need you to listen to me now’), can you frame it in a more positive way?’
While varying your activity might help engage them, you do have to think about your class as a whole, and it may not be feasible to change your whole lesson plan for just one child.
If despite your best efforts, they continue to seem uninterested, it may be that they’ve simply outgrown your class. Try taking their adult on one side at the end and suggesting they might be ready for something new (it’s worth having some alternative classes for different age groups / activities up your sleeve to recommend).
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Parent or carer not willing to check their child
Generally speaking, carers are responsible for their own children while in your class. You could remind them of this at the start of your classes, as Kelly Berridge of Lullababy South Somerset, suggests:
‘I always say at the beginning of each class that ‘we are a relaxed class but please remember you are responsible for your child and their behaviour today.’ It’s definitely helped with a few of my more ‘spirited’ little ones!’
Try making this clear in your T&Cs, or even better – include a behaviour policy on your website or in your bookings process, making clear the kind of values you expect from attendees. (Members can add or edit their T&Cs via the Happity Dashboard by going to Bookings => Booking Settings => Update your Booking Legals – see below).
See also our guide to creating your T&Cs, or the Early Years Alliance have some great resources on policies and procedures.
In conclusion, it’s worth remembering there are no ‘naughty’ or ‘disruptive’ babies or children. Unwelcome behaviour is almost always a cry for attention, a developmental stage or a natural response to something. They could be dealing with an issue in their home life or undergoing a developmental change that means their behaviour is beyond their control.
If any of these behavioural problems persist or become more serious, bear in mind that there could be a SEN issue at play.
As Vinny Ferguson (author of this fantastic blog for us on on how to help children manage their emotions), puts it:
‘We all express emotions in various ways. Tears, anger, withdrawal, and smiling are all common behaviours, but they can distract us from what’s really going on. It’s crucial to recognise that these emotions are very real for the kid and often stem from them feeling overwhelmed, worried or unsure of their place in the world.’
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Vinny’s tips for creating a calming, inclusive environment in your classes:
- Be aware that there could be children with undiagnosed additional needs / neuvrodiversity within your class
- Even if you are adapting things for one or two particular individuals, try not to single them out: ‘we want everyone to feel like they belong’
- Avoid overstimulation. Even if you are not aware of any SEN needs within your group, it’s worth making some small changes that can benefit everyone, e.g.
- softer lighting (that doesn’t buzz!)
- use of calming / quiet music
- smaller class sizes
- Learning some basic makaton signs
- Experimenting with visual prompts (e.g. photos or illustrations)
- Overall, try to foster an environment for positive behaviour rather than focusing on the negative.
You may also like:
Parenting Is Emotional: How to Manage Your Child’s Tears (And Yours)
What Is Makaton? (And Why Is It A Useful Skill For Your Baby Classes?)
How To: Run Your Baby / Toddler Classes At Parties
