Do dads and male carers feel welcome at baby and toddler classes?
There’s no denying that baby and toddler classes are female-dominated spaces. And we’ve definitely heard some parents ask the common questions: do dads actually want to go to baby classes? And if they do, do they feel comfortable attending? Do they ever doubt whether or not they’ll be welcomed with open arms?
Recently, we sent out a survey to find answers and to hear more about how men experience baby and toddler classes. We were overwhelmed by the number of responses we received on our recent survey. There were some really surprising results, and we want to share them with you.
A quick note: Some classes are designed specifically as female-only spaces—and rightly so. These safe spaces are incredibly important, and this survey does not reflect those classes. Instead, our findings relate to mixed-gender baby and toddler classes that are open to all parents and carers.
But First: Join Our Father’s Day Campaign – ‘Just Say Hello!’
Here’s What You’ll Need To Do:
- Head over to this audio on Instagram and create a lipsync. Not sure how to do a lipsync? Leanne from our social media team shows you how right here.
- Use the hashtags #happityjustsayhello and #dadswelcome. Add these as text on your video and include them in your post description.
In your caption, you could use copy that says something along the lines of this:
‘My classes are a safe space for all family members to come and find their community, and that includes dads and male carers. I’m proud to offer my classes as a welcome breather and a place for dads to have that well-deserved bonding time with their little ones. I promise that I will make an effort to ensure that you are neither ignored, nor made to feel othered. You will be treated just like any other person attending my class. I won’t draw attention to the fact you are dad, I will just say hello! #dadswelcome #happityjustsayhello - Tag us at @happityapp. Tagging us is the best way for us to see your posts, so be sure to tag us and we’ll re-share as many posts as we can.
- Share your Reel between the 9th and the 15th of June. We’re timing this campaign to fit around Father’s Day, but we want to see your #happityjustsayhello posts throughout the week.
We can’t wait to see your videos! Now, lets dive into our survey results.
How Old Are The Kids Of The Dads We Asked?
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The above chart shows the children’s ages of the dads and male carers who answered our survey. Seeing as over 80% of the men who answered the survey said that they currently or used to attend baby / toddler classes regularly, we can hazard a guess that the majority of male carers aren’t often going to postnatal classes or classes in those really early months. Good to know!
Do Dads Feel Comfortable Singing At Classes?
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“I’ve not really thought about the fact that I’m a man and that the majority of other people at the class might be female. I’ve found every class to be welcoming, cheery and beneficial for my daughter and my top priority is that she is engaged and enjoys it. If that means that her dad has to get involved and be daft, then so be it!“
Surprised by these results? We know we are.
It’s a common question for those who are nervous about attending their first baby class: “Will I need to sing?”
Well, apparently, this is a question that isn’t a frequent one for dads and male carers. Wind The Bobbin Up and Hop Little Bunnies won’t put off the dads from booking your classes.
In fact, when asked what classes they had attended before, the most popular response was Music & Singing (66%) closely followed by Sensory (52%) and Stay & Play / Coffee Morning (45%).
How Confident Do Dads Feel When Booking A Baby Or Toddler Class?
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“I love baby classes as they are great bonding time for you and your child and want more men to feel like it’s something that they can confidently do and get involved in. I have lots of dad friends that don’t do things outside of the traditional football/gymnastics ones which usually have more dads.”
Confidence To Book
The good news is that over half our dads and male carers said ‘no’.
With that said, there was still a large percentage who said that nerves were a thing for them. But what could help with those nerves? These were the popular themes that came up (in order from most popular to least).
- Seeing reviews &/or hearing recommendations
- Being able to attend with a friend or family member
- Knowing that other men would be present
- Seeing ‘Dad’s Welcome’ in the class description
- Seeing videos / pictures of the class ahead of time.
Feeling Put Off From Booking
“I’m confident going to classes and enjoy going, but they’re very much tailored to mums, even down to the songs. It would be nice seeing more dad-specific classes/one-off events or at least making it clear in class descriptions that dads are welcome too.”
We also asked them to tell us a bit about what would put them off from booking a class. These are the common themes we saw (again, in order of most picked to least):
- Not being able to book a trial / single session
- Not knowing if a class is actually running
- Thinking you will be the only man / dad in attendance
- Not knowing if it’s an inclusive environment
- Dancing required
- Not being able to tell what the atmosphere is like.
Do Dads Feel Welcome At Baby And Toddler Classes?
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“So far, I’ve always been welcome at any group. Organisers have always been accommodating and don’t treat me any differently to the mums.”
Whilst there is still a portion of dads and male carers who have been unsure about whether they would be welcomed in, the majority of participants say that they haven’t been unsure about whether they would be welcome. (Woohoo!)
For those who answered yes to the above question, we asked them to give a few more details as to what made them feel unwelcome. Here are some of the themes along with a few quotes…
- Mum-focussed language instead of parent or gender-neutral language
- Marketing materials that only show mums
- Mum / mummy in the title
- No clear indication as to whether men can attend.
- Not wanting to intrude or make anyone uncomfortable in an environment where women are breastfeeding
- Feeling judged by the mums or not feeling included by the mums attending
“I didn’t feel unwelcome per se, but it can be hard being the only man present. And actually worse if the provider/teacher makes a fuss of that. I went to one playgroup where I was welcomed at the door with “Finally a Dad!” and it made me quite self-conscious.”
In Summary
“I really don’t like it when class leaders make a big thing of me being a man. I think they think they’re trying to be welcoming but it can feel quite ‘othering’, I prefer just being treated the same as everyone else. I also REALLY dislike it when people say things like ‘oh are you doing daddy daycare’ or asking why I’m not at work or that sort of thing.”
Our main takeaway is that dads and male carers do want to go to baby classes. And in fact, they do go! They are amongst the groups of people scrolling through your class listing and deciding whether or not to book.
But one of the biggest challenges for dads and male carers is simply wondering if classes are meant for them—especially when class descriptions and marketing are heavily mum-focused. Sometimes, they may feel “othered” or even receive too much attention just for being the only man in the room.
There are lots of reasons why dads might feel unsure about whether a class will be welcoming. But equally, many dads and male carers tell us they’ve attended classes and never felt out of place or treated differently at all.
It’s also worth remembering: dads, like mums, often have first-time nerves. Feeling unsure or like everyone else already knows each other is incredibly common—and more often than not, it’s something we build up in our own heads. That said, those feelings can still be very real and valid in the moment.
Our Advice On How To Make Dads Feel Welcome
“I’m really proud to have taken a year’s parental leave with my son. But I know I’m not the norm… I’m also supporting ‘the Dad Shift’ campaign for better paternity leave because I think every Dad should have the opportunity to be the primary parent. But it also requires women and mothers to support that too, and to be willing to give up that space. Like I said, really complicated issues are at play.”
So, you want to make dads feel welcome, but you don’t want to make a fuss. You want to try and help dads and male carers feel like they can attend… But you don’t want to draw too much attention to them. It can sound a little tricky, we know. But our advice is this:
- Update your marketing. Keep things inclusive and stick to ‘parent’ over ‘mum’.
- Make sure that your descriptions aren’t too mum-oriented.
- Add ‘dads welcome’ to your class description.
- And when approaching dads and male carers, keep it simple: Just say, ‘hello’.
We’re all in the same boat. And we’ve all been in that position of going to a class for the first time. We’ve felt those nerves, and we know that it’s not easy to attend for the first time. But these spaces are a source of community for all family types. We advocate for parents to find their village, and that includes dads / male carers.
So if you’re ever unsure: Just start off by saying a simple hello
Get Involved During Father’s Day: ‘Just Say Hello!’
Here’s a reminder of how you can get involved in our campaign:
- Head over to this audio on Instagram and create a lipsync. (Check out our Instagram reel here!) Not sure how to do a lipsync? Leanne from our social media team shows you how right here
- Use the hashtags #happityjustsayhello and #dadswelcome. Add these as text on your video and include them in your post description.
In your caption, you could use copy that says something along the lines of this:
‘My classes are a safe space for all family members to come and find their community, and that includes dads and male carers. I’m proud to offer my classes as a welcome breather and a place for dads to have that well-deserved bonding time with their little ones. I promise that I will make an effort to ensure that you are neither ignored, nor made to feel othered. You will be treated just like any other person attending my class. I won’t draw attention to the fact you are dad, I will just say hello! #dadswelcome #happityjustsayhello - Tag us at @happityapp. Tagging us is the best way for us to see your posts, so be sure to tag us and we’ll re-share as many posts as we can.
- Share your Reel between the 9th and the 15th of June. We’re timing this campaign to fit around Father’s Day, but we want to see your #happityjustsayhello posts throughout the week.
We want to get as many baby and toddler classes involved to take this off the ground and let dads and male carers know that they are more than welcome at baby classes.
We can’t wait to see your videos.
Join the conversation on our children’s activity provider Facebook forum.
You may also like:
How to: Use Happity to find new customers for your classes
How to: Give Parents Confidence That Your Class Is Right For Them